Loaves and fishes

Loaves and fishes.  Today is a loaves and fishes day. How many times have I thought that, on my way to work?  You were out there, I know it because every time I got exactly what I needed, if not necessarily what I wanted.  You knew, and you fed me, clothed me, put a roof over my head, gave me comfort.  Then at home when the work was done it was time to play.  The guitar came out without any frills, I'd sit on the sofa, or in my hard chair and start to play, nothing in particular.  Sometimes it was just scales, sometimes, often, those scales grew into the once-played songs, melodies and improvisations composed on the fly, without any purpose other than to play them and as music, you took me on incredible journeys.  I don't have to believe in you because I know you.  Every time I play my guitar, every time I sit at the computer to write, whenever I open my book and let the ink stretch out in miles and miles of lines, I have the affirmation.  When I'm walking you walk - not beside me, but inside me.  When I cry, you visit me in mid sob.  When I hurt, you teach me how to bear it.  When the pain passes, you show me how to exalt.  How can I not know!